Upcoming events

Today is the calm before the storm and a VERY big weekend in the Lydic family. My little sister is getting married tomorrow. All of us with the exception of Chad are in the wedding. I am the matron of honor, and today when I was supposed to be listening to a presentation at work I was writing my toast for the reception. I think it may a bit long in comparison to most toasts but I am going to milk it for all its worth as it will be one of the few times in my life that I can say how awesome my sister is and how much I love her. The boys are not going to know what hit them. Callie is looking forward to her moment in the limelight with her beautiful princess dress. This morning on the way to work Sam and I were in the car alone. She shared she was anxious that the wedding would not turn out to be perfect. I thought that maybe this would be the MOMENT to give her some sage advice on her ideas of something not being wonderful if it wasn't perfect or something went wrong. I said that to strive for perfection is a noble thing, but to expect perfection leads to a lot of disappointments. She wants everything to go the way Jessica wants; this led to the discussion of how things may not transpire the way Samantha wants them. For example, the music may not be to her liking but that is not important as it is the music Jess and Matt chose for their reception.
I have caught the respiratory illness that Chad has suffered with for the last week. I guess I need to stop by the urgent care clinic on the way home and hope the physician feels what I have can be treated by a wonder drug which will make me feel better by tomorrow afternoon. I am not hopeful this would be the case, but I am trying to be optimistic. Either way, I will put on a happy face because it is a very important day for one of the most important people in my life. I will post pictures from the wedding soon.

Dog days of summer

This week has been wonderful as it is full blown summer. I LOVE summer. We have enjoyed being outdoors every afternoon this week with the kids. A family friend gave us a sprinkler and the kids enjoyed it very much. It was in the shape of a hula hoop and sprayed quite a bit of water in all directions. Initially the boys wanted to run by the sprinkler and eventually Ruslan enjoyed getting his head completely wet. They enjoyed watching the girls run through the center of it. Ruslan let Sam carry him on her back through the middle and then he ran through it several times. Pasha really doesn't like to have his face get wet so he preferred to watch everyone else run through. The water was really cold (from our well) so I didn't really blame him for his reluctance. I posted a few pictures in this blog from their sprinkler experience. Another day we broke out the Slip and Slide we had for the kids. Jessica gave it to Sam for a birthday gift and I never got around to opening it. We have to be careful in using sprinklers and things as our well can get kind of low and we don't want to have to haul water as that gets really expensive. Since we have had so much rain, our water level is pretty good and we can let the kids enjoy the sprinklers on these really hot days. The problem that occurs is that the boys think that this activity is something we can do every afternoon after their nap. The few times this week we couldn't play in the water outside Ruslan whined and cried until I could distract him with another activity.

Samantha began her softball season this week too. We had three games this week and the boys have been pretty well behaved. They really like that they get M & Ms and we like it since it keeps them occupied. Pasha likes to say "boom" when they hit the ball.

We learned this week that the boys do use foul language. Thursday morning during breakfast Pasha told me he did not like the breakfast I had prepared for him and it tasted like poop. The only English word he used was "poop". Samantha kept repeating words the boys said and the boys would laugh hysterically. I asked her on the way to the babysitter's to please stop because she didn't know what she was repeating. Sure enough, my wise friend Sonia had Sam look up online a translation of the words and they were curse words. Sonia caught Pasha saying one of the words later and told him "no". The jig was up buddy. Later in the afternoon at home he tried it here and he got the same response from me. Hopefully that is the end of that business.

We have another busy week of heading to Macomb for therapy in the mornings and then getting haircuts and fittings for the wedding next weekend. I hope the wedding is enjoyable for everyone. I think it will be nice to have some family pictures taken of us all dressed up.

I will post more in the next few days with updates on our routines and such. Things are going much better than we could have ever hoped. The boys are enjoying the special attention they get at their grandparents too. I will leave things with that because I have to rinse out the hair color from my head and then go to bed. My life is so full and every night I lie my head on the pillow I am thankful for taking a chance on going half way around the world to meet two little boys we had only dreamed of ever meeting.

Chocolate lovers unite

We made it through my first week back to work of half days. Although I have to still get up earlier than I would like, things went fairly smoothly. Friday night my sister, mom, Sam and I met up with Jess and two of her friends for dinner at Sully’s in Peoria. It hadn’t changed much since my early to mid 20s when it was a semi-regular hangout for me. We were there early enough that we completely missed the “in crowd”. I had wanted to stay and go out with Jess and her friends but this mom of four is snoozing by 10. Either way I would be awakened early by the boys. It ended up that Jess said Peoria was kind of dead that night so I didn’t miss out on much. Chad woke up pretty sick Saturday morning so I did my best to keep the boys occupied until after 10am so he could sleep. When he woke up he had the sexiest voice (his cold lowered his pitch quite a bit… think Sam Eliot) so I asked him to keep talking to me all morning long.
We headed into Galesburg to get groceries and take the boys to Ducky’s for their fittings for the wedding. They looked so handsome in the tuxedo, and were so proud when we told them how handsome they were. Chad took some pictures with his phone and sent them to family. It was really hot that day so after their naps I hooked up the sprinkler for them. While they were napping I finished reading a book I had started on the way back from Russia. It was a pretty good and well written story about a mother whom struggled to get beyond a mistake she had made in her youth but in the end determined that she was in control of her destiny and was not saved by her husband, father, or anyone else. She did it all herself. It was kind of refreshing to read a novel about a woman’s self-discovery.
Saturday night Chad’s parents came over for dinner. Earlier in the afternoon I made some cupcakes for dessert. The boys were VERY interested in watching me cook. They are pretty intrigued by all of the different appliances we have in the house. I am pretty certain they had never seen a washing machine, dishwasher, or stove before. Is it a bad thing that I didn’t offer them the beaters to lick? Yes, I licked them both myself quickly while they were playing with their trucks in the dining room not paying attention to me. While I did this, I thought back to the story I have been told of a similar behavior I displayed as a young child. I was about four I think (I can’t remember the incident but have heard of it many times) and I went to the next door neighbors house to play. The mother came to the door and found me standing there with a King-sized bag of M & Ms. She told me I couldn’t come in to play unless I planned on sharing my candy with everyone. Now, if you are a chocolate lover such as myself, what would you do? Yep, I stuffed the remainder of the bag into my mouth. The next thing that happened (according to the story) was that I began to choke, requiring the mom to do a finger sweep of mouth. I guess I didn’t really learn my lesson as here I was at 37 years of age, standing over the sink, licking the beaters clean since I didn’t want to share with my sons. The really bad part is that I put thought into the situation… I mean, if I let them do it this one time, they are always going to want to lick them. Why start now? I ended up feeling really bad about not sharing. I did feel better when I gave them their first cupcake with frosting and sprinkles. The smiles on their faces and their glistening eyes portrayed sheer joy. It really is the little things. Maybe in the future I will wait until they go to bed so I don’t have to deal with the guilt.

Contemplating name change

I have not really investigated all of the bells and whistles with blogspot, but I am considering trying to figure out how to change the name of my blog. Maybe I just need to switch to starting a new blog. I don't know. I was just thinking tonight that Gipsonfamilyadoption is really now simply Gipsonfamilytryingtofigureouthowtobeafamilywiththenewadditions. Hmm, that would be a pain to type. Today was day two of my return to half days and bringing all of the kids with me. The kids were not quite as quick to wake this morning but the timing still worked out okay. I changed the carseat for Ruslan to a full booster car seat with a back as he has been putting the shoulder strap behind him because he does not like it across his chest. So, he began to cry shortly after leaving Cameron and cried hard (his typical way of crying it is all out or nothing) all the way to Roseville. I spoke to him both in English and Russian and had the girls show him how they wore their shoulder straps and that his brother was wearing his shoulder strap as well. I double-checked to make sure the shoulder strap was not too tight. It fit just the way it is supposed to. I figured out that he doesn't like being confined and really likes to be able to look out the windows and lean forward in his seat. Once we hit Roseville, the tears stopped and crying ceased instantly. It was so strange, as there was no de-escalation of the crying where kids will do the funny breathing thing. He just stopped and sat quietly with a blank look on his face. The girls cheered for him stopping and told him "bravo" (which is the word the boys use to cheer each other and us on for a job well done whether it be eating all of our food or cleaning up our toys).
We arrived at Jenni's without further incident with the exception of some nasty rain; it didn't look promising for a trip to the playground today. I was pretty happy to get back into things at work as I missed the students and my coworkers. The morning went by pretty quickly again until the kids came for the boys' therapy session at noon. During that time I am supervising another child in the adjacent room. I had briefly greeted all of the kids and ushered the boys into their therapy room. After I had finished supervising my clinician, I stepped into the observation room. Ruslan was lying on the floor crying and having a mini-meltdown. My colleague was seated next to him and the student clinician was doing her best to keep Pasha entertained while attempting to get him to imitated target words in English (which he was doing quite well as long as she didn't try to directly interact with him). Ruslan's behavior escalated and I began to see behaviors I had never seen before. He began to tune out because the situation was scary for him and too much to handle. My colleague was excellent in her instincts and sat near him, keeping him safe but acting like she really wasn't attending to his tantrum. He eventually decided he wanted to play with the items she had out and when she required him to say the item before she handed it over he became angry. He yelled at her in Russian to "give that to me" and a few other phrases that I couldn't recognize. When there were only a few minutes left of the session I walked into the room and sat quietly against the opposite wall. Pasha looked up at me and smiled but Ruslan did not appear to acknowledge my presence. Whoa, this situation was almost exactly like the "strange situation" I have studied that reveals how a child is attached. I had to approach him and I placed my cheek next to his and told him "mama was here". He would not engage in eye contact with me until I began to sing the clean up song and then he readily began to place things where they belonged. He really did not seem in tune with me until we were out of the therapy room. After the session I spoke briefly with my colleague (who is an adoptive parent herself) and she said Ruslan smiled briefly when I walked into the room and visibly relaxed. Hearing this really made me feel better. She also stated she felt he was cursing her out in Russian (which maybe he was as his tone of voice indicated so). We will try again next week but I am beginning to wonder if it is too soon for speech therapy. He has experienced so many changes in his life in the last week. For this reason, I think I will put physical therapy on hold until July. I may have to begin to participate in his speech therapy sessions as well. Maybe the Lord felt I needed to be on the other side of the fence to learn how the families I work with feel when their child is in therapy. It definitely was a humbling experience and I ached for Ruslan as he was definitely frustrated and confused. Pasha was not quite himself during the session either but he seemed to not be as frustrated and confused.
After therapy we headed back to the car and Ruslan climbed into his seat without complaint. Whew; not another forty minute car ride of crying. Both boys fell asleep on the way home again. I wish they would stay awake until we got home so they would nap there rather than in the car. After a small cup of juice at home they willingly laid down for their "nap" which has really become more of a "rest time". Sam and Chad played video games and Callie watched her shows while I took a nap. A nice way to spend a rainy afternoon as far as I am concerned.
Callie and Sam left around 4:30 with their dad, which caused Ruslan to begin to cry again. He wanted to get his shoes on and go with them. No way was I going to be able to explain that one. Instead Chad and I decided to head to town to pick up a prescription for Sam at Walgreen's just to get out of the house. The boys enjoy riding in the car for the most part and it was a good way to kill an hour. Chad made dinner tonight (yea for my husband) and the boys played quietly (yea for the boys). They kept asking where Callie was, and really became concerned when we sat down to eat and the girls weren't home yet (a change in our routine). Sam had her sports physical at the school tonight so the girls didn't get home until the boys were going to bed. I wonder how it will go this weekend when the girls are gone with their dad. I never thought how explaining such things would be so difficult. They have so many transitions in their daily lives that I am amazed they handle all of them as well as they do. I am beginning to wonder if maybe I should use some of the picture schedules I had prepared.
I have the bachelorette party tomorrow night. Jess told me she found the dress she wanted for her night out complete with a tiara. She had been looking for a dress that was "sexy but not sleazy". I didn't laugh when she told me but am now as I am typing this. The laughter is not simply due to what she said, it is how it transported me back in time to when I was searching for my bachelorette party outfit. I definitely went with "sexy AND sleazy". I was a bit younger than her (ripe age of 21); and those days liked the attention I received when I wore such things (think the mid 90s with all of the bare midriff tops and short shorts). I have to attribute it to my self-imposed ugly duckling syndrome. So I am trying to find something in my own wardrobe which is flattering for my figure (teehee) without looking like I am trying too hard (come on I will be surrounded by nubile tight little bodies so what is the point) and if ONE person calls me a cougar I will not be happy. Maybe I will post some pictures of the results of our night out.

Home- days 7 and 8

Things keep moving along, and it seems that the days are flying by. Yesterday we drove to St. Louis to see the international adoption specialist. Four hours drive there, at the office for three and a half hours, and four hours drive back. Samantha came with us and was a great help. The boys once again pleasantly surprised me. The doctor made some recommendations to us for immunizations and referrals to specialists for Ruslan. I am trying to determine what is going on with my insurance as I am a part of the state of Illinois employees whom are affected by the changes in the plans offered. Nobody really knows what is going on except I no longer have the option of a HMO. I can't take the kids to Children's Hospital of Illinois. This sounds so crazy to me that I can't access the closest children's hospital. We will have to change from the pediatric diabetes clinic that Sam has gone to since her diagnosis six years ago.
Today I began working half days Monday through Thursday supervising at the speech clinic for the next few weeks. The kids all come with me and I have a sitter for three hours and then the boys come to the clinic for their therapy. It makes for an early morning but at least we will be done by the second week of July and then it will be truly summer vacation (well, Chad has to work so not vacation for everyone).
People keep asking me how things are going and I find myself almost wondering if there is something looming on the horizon since I am feeling pretty good about our big life change. I try to reflect upon how this is affecting the kids as really this is about me (but I have made sure to get my sleep so I don't lose my mind). Tonight while the Stouffer's lasagna (thanks again Amanda and Stef)was cooking I even got to read a book in the bath. I did have two visitors want to climb in (Ruslan first and then Callie later) but I convinced them I wouldn't be a fun bathing partner. Of course, there was an incident with a marker on the floor when Dad was supposed to be supervising but that is what the magic eraser is for, right?
This Friday I have the bachelorette party for Jessica. I have been thinking about it this week and it has been making me feel really old. I am really happy as she has found herself I think an excellent partner in life in Matt.